avoid stress, just press!

"Ask and it will be given to you;

seek and you will find;

knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives;

he who seeks finds;

and to him who knocks,

the door will be opened."

Matthew 7:7-8

I rushed out the door of my apartment headed for school. I waited for the elevator to reach my floor, impatience growing by the second. I got huffy and puffy that the elevator had not yet arrived. I cursed it both in my head and verbally, knowing I would seem insane if anyone walked by, but much too involved in my tantrum to care. I blamed the elevator for my potential tardiness. Then, finally, it occurred to me: I hadn't pressed the button!

How much does this relate to our prayer life? We know what we want, what we need. We think about it. We worry about it. We get bitter, angry and impatient when the answer does not come. But have we asked? Have we pushed the button that will actually lead to the answer?

Heart ♥ Surgery

"God loves you just the way your are, but He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus"

- Max Lucado

During the first week of school, they told us that this year will be like having heart surgery. God will expose my heart and while I am lying in complete submission, he will dissect the ugly parts. He will repair what is left, giving me a new, clean and functioning heart and then stitch me back together. If I leave in the middle of the year, it will be like getting up off the operating table in the middle of surgery with my guys spilling everywhere. I need to go through the entire process and allow God to finish the job. 

I didn't realize how quickly or deeply I would relate to this analogy. God is breaking me. He is digging up parts of my heart that need to be purified. He is exposing wounds, weaknesses and insecurities. He is allowing me to see my faults in a new way and working through them with me. It is an intense journey. And I am only a little over a month in. I know that it is all to make me more whole and more like Christ. I am welcoming the brokenness and asking God to continue exposing the ugliness that I haven't had yet had the opportunity to face. I am honestly growing daily. 

Like I've said before, I am overwhelmed with everything I am learning. I am trying to soak it all in and let it shape me. Here are some random thoughts and quotes to give you a snapshot of what I've been experiencing. I pray that you, too, will allow God to speak to you through them...

"God loves to decorate. God has to decorate. Let him live long enough in a heart, and that heart will begin to change. Portriats of hurt will be replaced by landscapes of grace. Walls of anger will be demolished and shaky foundations restored. God can no more leave a life unchanged than a mother can leave her childs tear untouched"

- Max Lucado

"God will never leave us...

He will never leave our side. And he will never leave us the same."

"How can I further your kingdom when I'm so wrapped up in mine?"

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have LIFE, and have it to the FULL." John 10:10

"Life & Christianity are about enjoying, not just existing"

"Jesus Christ paid the same price for me as anybody else!" - Robert Fergusson

"Every believer should be leader" -Brian Houston

"ALL about God who is ALL about people" -Hillsong Church

"The heart is deceitful beyond all things" Jeremiah 17:9

...praise starts at the revelation of how awful I am...

"The job is to love people to the truth" -Joel Houston

"You're as close to God as you want to be" -John Bevere

"The way we see the world is through God's eyes...and God's eyes see people" -Brian Houston

"Go to the throne before you go to the phone"

"God is the source of confidence, not experience"

"The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet" -Frederick Beuchner 

"no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love" 1 Corinthians 13:3

"Love never gives up. 
   Love cares more for others than for self. 
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 
   Love doesn't strut, 
   Doesn't have a swelled head, 
   Doesn't force itself on others, 
   Isn't always "me first," 
   Doesn't fly off the handle, 
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 
   Doesn't revel when others grovel, 
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 
   Puts up with anything, 
   Trusts God always, 
   Always looks for the best, 
   Never looks back, 
   But keeps going to the end.

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, 13

"In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" 

Proverbs 16:9

"The idea of identity & insecurity robs so many people and hinders what God wants to do...Learn what it means to walk in your own shoes." -Joel Houston

"You're everything I need to be everything you want me to be." 

"The difference between loving those who love you and loving your enemies, is one is possible in human strength and one requires that which only God can provide."

"Give Away Your Life

 ²⁴But it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made. 
   What you have is all you'll ever get.

 ²⁵And it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself. 
   Your self will not satisfy you for long.

   And it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games. 
   There's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it.

 ²⁶"There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests—look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular.

 ^27-30"To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

 ^31-34"Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

 ^35-36"I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

 ^37-38"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity."

 ^39-40He quoted a proverb: "'Can a blind man guide a blind man?' Wouldn't they both end up in the ditch? An apprentice doesn't lecture the master. The point is to be careful who you follow as your teacher.

 ^41-42"It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this I-know-better-than-you mentality again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your own part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."

Luke 6:24-42

"Our job as Christians is to make sure the TREASURE of people's LIVES is FOUND."

"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:11-12

"I am NOTHING on my own, but EVERYTHING through CHRIST."

"God is LOVE. Whoever lives in LOVE lives in God, and God in them." 1 John 4:16b

"Let the mind of the master, be the master of your mind."

"Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 2 Corinthians 3:5

"All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God! 
      Thank him to his face! 
   He gets angry once in a while, but across 
      a lifetime there is only love. 
   The nights of crying your eyes out 
      give way to days of laughter." Psalm 30:5 

 "Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, RECKLESS IN YOUR LOVE, you'll have it forever, real and eternal." John 12:25

"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." Ephesians 5:2

"Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of" Philippians 1:10b

"When we encounter Him, things are broken. We are set free from prisons in our life."

"Be daring enough to face the prisons in your life this year."

 "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

TRUST protects you from worrying & obsessing

THANKFULNESS keeps your from criticizing & complaining

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" Matthew 25:40

That was just bits and pieces from my journals since I've been here. A collection of inspiration from sermons, class, personal devotions, etc. Hopefully you were also challenged, encouraged and moved by them. I continue to be........

A Cuppa Jesus

“The value of each human soul considered simply in itself,

out of relation to God, is zero.”

 –C.S. Lewis

 

As Christians, I think we’d agree that the purpose of life and our faith is to know Christ. In Philippians, Paul says that he wants to “know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” While this is biblical and we would agree wholeheartedly, is this truly how we live?

 

As Hillsong students, we were recently presented with the drastic difference between serving God this year and knowing Him. While we will be busy and thrown into the heart of church life and ministry, there is still the potential of getting to the end of the year having missed the point. The same goes for the bigger picture of life. The key to avoiding this is not allowing our focus to be shifted from Jesus to us.

 

Without Jesus in the equation, you find a people who measure their self-worth and value on the things they have accomplished, their talents, gifts, and anything else that they can check off about themselves. Think about times when you feel either cocky or insecure; both of these attitudes are measured by works of the flesh. This means that our sense of value is based on the things we can check off about ourselves. This is the game that the world plays, but too often we as Christians lose sight of Jesus and find ourselves playing the game. In Philippians three, Paul says that all works of the flesh are a loss for the sake of Christ and the surpassing greatness of knowing Him.

 

To even play the game is being in denial about who we are. Imagine for a moment, that you are a coffee cup. Without Jesus, you are filled with crud and coffee residue. Nothing you can accomplish will make you clean or attract Jesus to you. No amount of striving will make you worthy. If you insist on trying to identify things about yourself to work out your value, you can’t know Jesus. We can either play the game OR we can know Christ.

 

 Once you stop playing the game and recognize how much your cup needs cleaning, through Christ you will receive a sense of value, identity and significance. Our cup is in desperate need of cleaning and filling. A job only Jesus can do. What’s important is not that you’re dirty, but that you’re HIS. The value is not in the cup, but in who the cup belongs to. Your value, my value, and the value of anyone claiming to be a Christian, comes from who we belong to. We are His cup. When we understand this we are liberated from all our insecurities and find true security in Christ. It is then that we are able to hold His coffee in our clean cup and share it with others. 

It is an understatement to say that what I’ve experienced thus far is more than I could have hoped.  While I can’t say I’m absolutely in love with Australia itself quite yet, I am beyond blessed to be learning within the context of Hillsong Church. It is an environment that gives life to everyone who enters it, based, of course, on the life-giving nature of Jesus himself. The words of everyone who holds a microphone are dripping with wisdom, passion and inspiration. I am constantly learning, growing and being challenged. God is showing me much about myself that needs to be changed, sculpted and refined and even more about His incredible character and truth that needs to be adopted. It has been a rigorous yet beautiful journey.  I feel overwhelmed by the plethora of information and life-changing perspectives that have been shared with me in the last month. I find myself needing more time and space to further process everything; to be sure to squeeze every bit of growth possible from this experience. I realized that this would be the perfect space to process what God is teaching me, in hopes that you might catch a glimpse of what God is doing in my heart and that you might be inspired to grow with me. 

Little Birdie

“For I know, if Your eye is on the sparrow, than Your heart is on me.”

A close friend of mine has nicknamed me birdie. I don’t particularly care for it, but coming from her it is quite endearing. It also helps to remind me about the passage in Matthew 6, where God compares us to birds and makes the thought of doubting his provision inconceivable. I have been amazed to see God’s hand in providing for this current journey to Hillsong. Not only did God provide in meaningful and miraculous ways financially to get me here, He went above and beyond by planting many angels along the way.

            A few months prior to leaving, I found out I had to switch voice teachers. God completely orchestrated the process of finding my new teacher, who, come to find out, attended Hillsong College a few years ago. Coincidence? I think not. Her name is Lindsay (just like a couple of my other dearest friends) and she has become an amazing friend of mine and has encouraged me and spoken into my life a tremendous amount.  Also uncoincidentally, her brother is currently attending Hillsong. She put me in contact with him so I had a friend before I even arrived! He greeted me and has been a God-send in my short time here.

            When my mom found out about my future residence in Australia, she told me about an old friend of hers that was from there. She contacted him, and just a few days before I left, we were able to meet him and his wife, Dick and Joy. They were the most wonderful people. Turns out, they have close friends who are in ministry down under. They contacted their friends, Les and Martha, to notify of my coming, just wanting me to have them as a resource. Instead, Les offered to pick me up from the airport. He was there waiting for me when I arrived in Sydney, and brought me to the school. What a blessing!

            In line at the Fiji airport for my layover, I met a sweet Australian girl named Tosin. She is a Christian, and was heading back to Melbourne after four years of college in Canada. She will be at Hillsong in July for the conference and we have plans to meet up. She also offered me a place to stay if I ever find my way to Melbourne.

            Upon landing in the Sydney airport, I made my way to baggage claim. I had quite a ridiculous luggage situation, nothing unexpected for myself. I was wondering if I could get the baggage onto a cart, and if so, if it could all even fit on one cart. I was praying for God to send me someone to help. A very nice woman named D and her daughter Kate offered to help and that they did!

            Seeing all of this unfold was such an amazing testament to God’s love and provision for me. He cares about the birds by providing them the necessities of life, but he cares about us in a much more intimate and creative way.  The way God has provided for me thus far, in so many ways and on so many occasions, makes me extremely excited to see what He’s going to do this year. I learned so much about his character and faithfulness before even setting my feet on campus, so needless to say, I can’t wait to see the purpose for my being here and His hand in my journey. So next time you see a bird, think about how much God cares about their little world, and how much more He cares about yours.

Puzzle Peace

"We don't know what the future holds, 

but we know who holds the future."

If I’ve learned anything about life, it’s that often it doesn’t turn out how we plan. While some might find this to be disappointing, I have come to find great comfort and joy in it. God is the true planner of our lives because he can see the bigger picture. We are so limited and try to plan according to the tiny puzzle piece that we can see and wrap our minds around. But God knows us better than we know ourselves and His plan is often different, but always bigger and better than we expect. Bigger than we would have confidence to pursue. Better not always immediately, but with experience and perspective adjustment. Better to fit the other puzzle pieces that we can’t keep track of or begin imagine.

            This concept has been reiterated to me time and time again. My need to control births a futile plan, plan fails, and I am challenged and thankful for what comes about. Through this process I learn, grow and trust God deeper. The most recent incident with this involves me being here at Hillsong. As you know, I have been “planning” this endeavor for several months. Now, I can say that I have heavily included and sought God in this planning. In fact, He is indeed the mastermind behind the whole thing. I want to be here, but primarily because I know He has lead me here and it is my heart’s desire to be obedient and have faith in His plan, blind faith when necessary. This being said, much of the last few months has been focused on prayer for strength to take this leap and for financial provision. I have become less and less of a planner over the years and actually more of the “wing it” type. So while praying for this journey, I did not have much concern for the details. God had made it clear that he wanted me at Hillsong in January, enough said.

            God had been speaking to me specifically about singing. That is what catapulted this journey into action back in April. I had a moment during worship where I knew God was asking me to pursue singing to some capacity, and despite my fear and inhibitions, I promised to be obedient. The knowledge of Hillsong International Leadership College fell in my lap. I navigated towards what I believed to be the “songwriting” course and got the ball rolling.  This seemed to fit what God was calling me to do in a way that I could understand based on my abilities. Writing is something I am passionate about and have some talent in doing. It involved music, but in a less threatening, “spotlight” sort of way. And I went with it. In hindsight, I recognize that this drifted from the true vision the Lord gave me. Singing was it.

            After all this time thinking I was being enrolled in the “songwriting” stream, I found out it doesn’t actually exist. I had taken different pieces of information from my communicating with the admissions office and my own understanding of the website and basically compiled my own program focused less on performance and mainly on behind the scenes writing. This fit the mold of what I could see my self doing. But it also limited God and my trust in what he wants to use me for.

            After my initial panic, I rested in the fact that God is in control. He ordains my days. He has plans to prosper me. He is with me every second of every day. Although I was a little mislead, He knew what was up. The loop I was thrown for did not encompass Him. And oh how thankful I am for that. I also think he allowed me to be a little deceived because He knows me well enough to know that I might not have had the courage to jump on board if I would have known the truth about the program from the beginning. I faced the reality that I would be a singer. Something my voice teacher has been telling me all along. And faced, once again, that God’s plans are different, and bigger than my own. And more importantly that He will give me everything I need to fulfill them for his glory.