Little Birdie

“For I know, if Your eye is on the sparrow, than Your heart is on me.”

A close friend of mine has nicknamed me birdie. I don’t particularly care for it, but coming from her it is quite endearing. It also helps to remind me about the passage in Matthew 6, where God compares us to birds and makes the thought of doubting his provision inconceivable. I have been amazed to see God’s hand in providing for this current journey to Hillsong. Not only did God provide in meaningful and miraculous ways financially to get me here, He went above and beyond by planting many angels along the way.

            A few months prior to leaving, I found out I had to switch voice teachers. God completely orchestrated the process of finding my new teacher, who, come to find out, attended Hillsong College a few years ago. Coincidence? I think not. Her name is Lindsay (just like a couple of my other dearest friends) and she has become an amazing friend of mine and has encouraged me and spoken into my life a tremendous amount.  Also uncoincidentally, her brother is currently attending Hillsong. She put me in contact with him so I had a friend before I even arrived! He greeted me and has been a God-send in my short time here.

            When my mom found out about my future residence in Australia, she told me about an old friend of hers that was from there. She contacted him, and just a few days before I left, we were able to meet him and his wife, Dick and Joy. They were the most wonderful people. Turns out, they have close friends who are in ministry down under. They contacted their friends, Les and Martha, to notify of my coming, just wanting me to have them as a resource. Instead, Les offered to pick me up from the airport. He was there waiting for me when I arrived in Sydney, and brought me to the school. What a blessing!

            In line at the Fiji airport for my layover, I met a sweet Australian girl named Tosin. She is a Christian, and was heading back to Melbourne after four years of college in Canada. She will be at Hillsong in July for the conference and we have plans to meet up. She also offered me a place to stay if I ever find my way to Melbourne.

            Upon landing in the Sydney airport, I made my way to baggage claim. I had quite a ridiculous luggage situation, nothing unexpected for myself. I was wondering if I could get the baggage onto a cart, and if so, if it could all even fit on one cart. I was praying for God to send me someone to help. A very nice woman named D and her daughter Kate offered to help and that they did!

            Seeing all of this unfold was such an amazing testament to God’s love and provision for me. He cares about the birds by providing them the necessities of life, but he cares about us in a much more intimate and creative way.  The way God has provided for me thus far, in so many ways and on so many occasions, makes me extremely excited to see what He’s going to do this year. I learned so much about his character and faithfulness before even setting my feet on campus, so needless to say, I can’t wait to see the purpose for my being here and His hand in my journey. So next time you see a bird, think about how much God cares about their little world, and how much more He cares about yours.

Puzzle Peace

"We don't know what the future holds, 

but we know who holds the future."

If I’ve learned anything about life, it’s that often it doesn’t turn out how we plan. While some might find this to be disappointing, I have come to find great comfort and joy in it. God is the true planner of our lives because he can see the bigger picture. We are so limited and try to plan according to the tiny puzzle piece that we can see and wrap our minds around. But God knows us better than we know ourselves and His plan is often different, but always bigger and better than we expect. Bigger than we would have confidence to pursue. Better not always immediately, but with experience and perspective adjustment. Better to fit the other puzzle pieces that we can’t keep track of or begin imagine.

            This concept has been reiterated to me time and time again. My need to control births a futile plan, plan fails, and I am challenged and thankful for what comes about. Through this process I learn, grow and trust God deeper. The most recent incident with this involves me being here at Hillsong. As you know, I have been “planning” this endeavor for several months. Now, I can say that I have heavily included and sought God in this planning. In fact, He is indeed the mastermind behind the whole thing. I want to be here, but primarily because I know He has lead me here and it is my heart’s desire to be obedient and have faith in His plan, blind faith when necessary. This being said, much of the last few months has been focused on prayer for strength to take this leap and for financial provision. I have become less and less of a planner over the years and actually more of the “wing it” type. So while praying for this journey, I did not have much concern for the details. God had made it clear that he wanted me at Hillsong in January, enough said.

            God had been speaking to me specifically about singing. That is what catapulted this journey into action back in April. I had a moment during worship where I knew God was asking me to pursue singing to some capacity, and despite my fear and inhibitions, I promised to be obedient. The knowledge of Hillsong International Leadership College fell in my lap. I navigated towards what I believed to be the “songwriting” course and got the ball rolling.  This seemed to fit what God was calling me to do in a way that I could understand based on my abilities. Writing is something I am passionate about and have some talent in doing. It involved music, but in a less threatening, “spotlight” sort of way. And I went with it. In hindsight, I recognize that this drifted from the true vision the Lord gave me. Singing was it.

            After all this time thinking I was being enrolled in the “songwriting” stream, I found out it doesn’t actually exist. I had taken different pieces of information from my communicating with the admissions office and my own understanding of the website and basically compiled my own program focused less on performance and mainly on behind the scenes writing. This fit the mold of what I could see my self doing. But it also limited God and my trust in what he wants to use me for.

            After my initial panic, I rested in the fact that God is in control. He ordains my days. He has plans to prosper me. He is with me every second of every day. Although I was a little mislead, He knew what was up. The loop I was thrown for did not encompass Him. And oh how thankful I am for that. I also think he allowed me to be a little deceived because He knows me well enough to know that I might not have had the courage to jump on board if I would have known the truth about the program from the beginning. I faced the reality that I would be a singer. Something my voice teacher has been telling me all along. And faced, once again, that God’s plans are different, and bigger than my own. And more importantly that He will give me everything I need to fulfill them for his glory.